This morning I have a hangover. Not the kind from booze but the kind from dreams. Have you ever woken up feeling blue or scared or even excited with no real reason for the feeling? I call that “leftover dream emotion” or a “dream hangover.” Usually I don’t like it, and today is no exception. Sometimes I can remember the dream, and I can say to myself, “That’s why I feel this way.” Well, today is one of those times when I can remember part of the dream…but not a part that would make me feel this way. I don’t know why there’s a sad sense of dread lingering behind my breast bone. What happened to the dreaming me to make the waking me feel this way? All I remember from the dream was sitting around a table with my parents and my paternal grandmother. Grandma (in the dream) was a member of some house of government, and my father and I were marking her ballot on some voting issue (this is strange because Grandpa was actually a county politician) after talking with her about it; she told us how to mark her vote. After that I explained to my mother why Fox News was not the best place to go for actual news of this reality…not anything to inspire the feelings I’m experiencing.
I am glad I write (ooo, there it is) because at times like these I can sit down at the computer or in a quiet room with a note pad and write. I can do my breathing/relaxation and work out the feelings I don’t understand on the screen/on paper. It doesn’t matter if what I write is part of a larger project…sometimes it leads to one. I can just explore what dreams have left me with in words. Sometimes what I have after such writing doesn’t make sense, but I usually feel better (if I felt bad to begin with). The combination of examining how I feel and seeing a lack of a cause and of working on writing work like a pressure release, and I can feel “normal” again…or as close to as I ever get!